The writing throughout this show is extremely clever and maturely takes us down all kinds of deep paths, with great social, political, gender and satirical commentary sparkling through.
– Joana Simmons,
Theatre Press
‘Number one rule – you don’t start shit at Christmas.’
What’s it about?
A body’s been discovered under the shed in Grandma Bev’s backyard, but that’s not going to stop her Christmas lunch. Everyone’s got their theories about how it got there, but no one’s willing to point the finger just yet.
For the women of the family it’s a silent threat:
Don’t complain, and don’t ask for more.
It’s Christmas Day in Australia: food, Facebook, football and feminism. The women get the meat cooked and the salads made. The women ensure there are knives, forks and crackers on the table. The women have decorated the tree, organised the Kris Kringle, and bought everyone’s Christmas presents, and now they just need five minutes away from every other person in this bloody family or they are seriously going to lose their shit.
But within the McDoonie tribe are six women who won’t be shut up any longer. Each of them has escaped the festivities to unleash their darkly comic tirades. Foul-mouthed Breeanna is baited and trolled by a condescending uncle, Sylvie’s timid attempts to change the world are undermined by her gang of brothers, and matriarch Bev is outraged that she may have been burdened with a secret that she just can’t share.
Production History
This play was written in 2015, and had a development period with SNAFU theatre, culminating in a rehearsed reading at the Mechanics Institute, Brunswick. The following year it was directed by Michaela Bedel with Boutique Theatre. The play featured Ana Mitsikas, Emma McKay, Jennifer Watkins, Samantha Hill, Lauren Mass and Caitlin Mathieson as the six characters.
In 2018, the play was published by Australian Plays – you can get a full copy here!
An Excerpt
BREEANNA: So, Uncle Christopher and this girl turn up, holding a massive piece of salmon that’s meant to have super powers or something, and I’m thinking, ‘Oh, this is sweet, I’ve got two of them to fuck with.’
So I go up to Christopher and I go:
“Hey, petrol’s pretty dear, isn’t it? Gotta be a way to make it cheaper so we can use more!”
Classic Christopher bait right there. But he didn’t say anything. Didn’t even mention the Greens. See, Christopher’s one of those dicks who’s like all over Facebook going, “If you don’t believe in climate change you’re a moron! If you don’t share this article you’re a racist. If you don’t use this very special hashtag at the end of your status update, then you’re not helping women fight against sexism.” I always post the same big pic of a kitten with love hearts all round it, over and over again until he shuts the fuck up.
So everyone’s laughing about the petrol jab and shit, and he just takes it. Like, no response. Gotta be the girlfriend. So I go up to her, and I’m like, what’s the deal? And she goes –
‘We’ve talked about how it’s not fair for him to argue with certain people. Not fair to them. He’s got a degree, he’s used to analysing theories – other people, well… He fights using facts, they fight using hysterics. So from now on, he’s just going to politely ignore people who aren’t really on his … intellectual level.’
(Pause. Breeanna process this for a while.)
I’m like – what? She doesn’t mean… nah.
Samantha Hill 